Blogs :: How to Lose a Fight with a Volcano

How to Lose a Fight with a Volcano

I left the next day. Sad I know, but the city of Granada, boat tours, and a wicked cool circus with a bottle of rum wore me out and made me think of other things that I should do. Like physical activity and hiking volcano. Totally not the right thing for my lazy ass. I am more in shape for drinking beers on the beach than any sort of hiking, but I am stubborn.

The next day we made the chicken bus ride to Isla Ometepe. Sitting about 20 km off the shore of San Jorge in Lake Nicaragua, Ometepe is the home to two volcanoes. Maderas and Conception create a beautiful island that is basically cut off from the rest of Nicaragua. Sometimes you can hike both and I was all about hiking the taller one, Conception. Well someday the cards are stacked in your favor and this was one of those days. Conception was closed. This is a good thing people. They would probably still be looking for my body. At 400M taller than Maderes, I am pretty sure it would have killed me.

We decided that we would hike Maderas instead. Not smart, but smarter. Now if you are a hiking person you are probably going to call me all kinds of names about how much of a wuss I am and that may be true. Fortunately, I am not a hiking person and don't care. Five hours straight up, four hours straight down, a foot of life sucking mud, and a transition between tropical rain forest (hot as hell) and cloud forest (cold) made this hike one of those things that you remember. In fact, I did remember, about a third of the way up, why I swore to myself that I would never hike this volcano again after the first time I did it (two years ago). Chalk another one up to not smart. Well just as I did two years ago, I summoned all the stubbornness I could muster and managed to be the second one to the top (behind the guide). There I was treated to one ham and cucumber sandwich. Notice the "one" in there. I am a growing boy that is walking for eight hours straight here people. Throw me a bone.

With lunch done and pictures of the crater lake taken, we were on our way down. The guide said four hours, I called bullshit. Joslyn (whom I bribed into coming) and myself, maybe, the rest of the clan: no way in hell. Long story short we went down. I fell. I fell a lot. I fell on the really flat parts.

Finally after eight agonizing hours I saw the sign. The sign that was telling me I was at the end. It was large and had a giant Tona bottle on it. I have never had a beer or chocolate cake taste so good nor been so happy to walk around a bar barefooted.

As I went to sleep that night and pondered whether or not I was going to wake up in the morning (and if I did it was for sure that I was not going to be walking), I decided that I was glad I had done the hike. It was stupid and painful, but cool nonetheless.

I need to work out more.

outdoors, Nicaragua, Ometepe, volcanoes, hiking